Sexual Addiction Symptoms

Another serious addiction that can cause irreparable harm to a person's life is sexual addiction. Sexual addiction has been defined as "engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others" by the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.

Sexual addiction works much like any other addiction, in that a person has to continually intensify the behavior in order to keep achieving the same level of satisfaction they experienced when the addiction first began. The major difference between an addiction to something like drugs or alcohol and an addiction to sex is that sex is a normal, often required, healthy human activity. Consuming drugs and alcohol is not. A person suffering from this problem will often see their lives go down the tubes because of it, losing money, relationships, and even ending up behind bars when their addiction pushes them to commit illegal activities. Many sex offenders are sex addicts, though not all of them, and not all sex addicts become sex offenders. Some sex addicts do not allow their obsession to take them beyond compulsory masterbation, internet porn, and phone sex services. Nonetheless, even these activities can create serious problems in a relationship and in the addict's finances.

Some of the symptoms of sex addiction include a person who feels continually compelled to seek out multiple sexual partners, becomes fixated on an unattainable partner, uses a string of partners for sexual satisfaction, masterbates compulsively, and becomes compulsively involved in love and sexual relationships. The addict will often continue to participate in dangerous sexual behaviors despite health and financial risks, the destruction of close relationships, and the possibility of imprisonment. Legal issues can occur when a sex addict begins to partake in activities such as indecent exposure in public, attempting to spy on people in their bedrooms, making obscene phone calls, or committing sexual assaults. Sex addicts whose criminal impulses are beyond their control often have to be kept imprisoned in order to keep them away from society.

The good news is that there are resources that exist to help sex addicts overcome their addiction. There are outreach groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous. A sex addict only need speak to their doctor to get a recommendation for counseling and therapy. One of the most important devices for any addict to overcome their issue is to have a good support network. Family members and friends are almost always willing to do whatever they can to help a loved one beat an addiction. For an addict to have a person to call on when they are feeling weak who can help them stay strong is such a powerful tool. No one is expected to fight the demons of addiction alone, and there are many resources out there who can and will help.

To read more about symptoms and how to overcome drug, alcohol, or pornography addiction then visit the comprehensive addiction site.

Secrets Of Sexual Addiction

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Eliot Spitzer - A Reflection Of Sexual Addiction

When the news broke about New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's alleged involvement with a prostitute the nation was inundated with newspaper reports expressing shock and confusion. Politicians, corporate executives, and various other pundits were outraged by Spitzer's behavior? And healthcare providers began scratching their heads at the apparent level of ignorance about addictive behavior that these responses demonstrated.

In fact, Spitzer's behavior is a classic reflection of a particular kind of addiction known as sex addiction.

In the addictions recovery field providers refer to the "insanity" of the addict. They define this as a way of thinking that compels the addict to continually make choices harmful to self and others yet denying consciously or unconsciously to self that such choices will have any significantly negative impact. In Spitzer's case he continually made choices despite the enormous risks involved-- risks that included divorce, alienation from children, loss of employment, legal charges, disease, blackmail, and personal humiliation.

Obviously from the news this kind of behavior now confounds many people. They do not understand what propels a person to act so irresponsibly that he ends up egregiously hurting self and loved ones. Many are casting criticisms, judgment and expressions of glee with no understanding or interest that Spitzer's behavior reflects a deeply painful and unmanageable internal state of being very likely driven by formative experiences that compromised a healthy sense of self and others.

Such a painful state is at the root of sexual addiction. Healthy individuals need to feel a positive sense of connection with self and to know that they are able to manage their lives. Our ability to experience this grows out of our interactions throughout childhood with our primary caretakers and are shaped by the extent to which we experience a sense of safety, a sense of feeling loveable, and a sense of feeling competent.

When we do not have enough of these experiences growing up we become adults who suffer a host of problems that include negative beliefs about ourselves, a generalized state of anxiety and/or depression, feelings of grandiosity, loneliness, a need to please or be pleased, and a need to dominate or be dominated. A pervasive sense of inadequacy is central to these states and addiction is a means to manage the pain of it.

The seeming effectiveness of sexually addictive behavior to ameliorate such intense pain lies in the emotional shift that occurs. The sexual behavior triggers a mood-altering state that gives the addict temporary relief from emotional pain and a euphoric sense of excitement. And in the case of prostitution, the male or female prostitute is simply a means by which the addict can experience the excitement, sense of power, and the feeling of connection that he is otherwise unable to experience in his life.

Governor Spitzer wielded enormous power in his political life, and he presented the embodiment of a dedicated, effective, productive and respected civil servant. Yet despite all this his sexual behavior indicates that he was unable to consistently experience an internal sense of confidence, loving connection, and healthy control. Perhaps he would deny this. What he cannot deny are the enormous losses he and his family suffered as the result of his sexual behavior.

At the very least, Governor Spitzer has an opportunity now to be curious about his choices, to recognize how little healthy power he demonstrated over his behavior, and to seek out understanding and help with making healthier choices in the future. These are the critical first steps for all those painfully caught up in sexual addiction. To do so offers profound and deeply healing experiences that lead to compassionate understanding and forgiveness, a world full of loving friends and family, and a life robustly lived with grace and dignity.

?Patti Desert 2008 All Rights Reserved

Ms. Desert is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Baltimore, MD with a holistic private practice and specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, trauma, and associated addictions. For more information please visit her web site at http://www.singular-pathways.com

Sexual Addiction - Are You a Sex Addict? - Part 2

Sexual addiction is a dysfunctional pattern of compulsive sexual behavior that continues even after the addict knows that it is causing major problems in their life. The sex addicts has a compulsion to engage in the problem behavior despite the fact that it has become emotionally dissatisfying and self-destructive. Compulsion is defined as an "irresistible" urge to engage in a behavior. The sexual acting out produces guilt, shame, and repeated unfulfilled promises to stop.

Addiction creates an experience that is called "powerlessness and unmanageability" in 12 step recovery groups. Compulsivity implies a "powerlessness" over resisting the compulsive urge to do the behavior. "Powerlessness" means the behavior is out of control. The compulsive behavior, along with the addict's attempts to stop and the over-compensation for the destructiveness of the behavior create a life that becomes more and more unmanageable. Despite the addict's attempts to keep the behavior hidden, s/he experiences an escalating sense of shame and guilt, and self-loathing. The addict tries to eliminate the problem behavior, but cannot consistently do so. The losses suffered due to addiction, including the marriage, jobs, financial, arrests, self-esteem and self-efficacy may or may not create an awareness of the need for help. The compulsive behavior persists even after addicts can no longer deny the negative consequences to their lives.

The sexual compulsions of a sex addict could involve the physical, emotional, or obsessive thoughts/fantasy. Varieties of sexual compulsivity are limitless. Examples of compulsive sexual behavior include but are not limited to masturbation, voyeurism, infidelity, internet sex, pornography, cruising and/or anonymous sex, dangerous sex.

Sexual addiction parallels alcohol and other drug (AOD) addictions in that sex is the "drug" that medicates the feelings. The compulsive sexual behavior allows the addict to temporarily escape feelings and problems, to reduce emotional or psychological pain, and/or to control stress - in other words to self-medicate discomfort. Symptoms of sexual addiction are listed below:

· Pre-occupation, or an obsession with sex that overshadows and interferes with other areas of the addict's life.

· Inappropriately large amount of time and energy devoted to planning or fantasizing about sexual activity or recovering from sexual acting out.

· Feelings of shame, guilt, despair, about your sexual behavior or thoughts

· Inability to stop engaging in the behavior despite repeated attempts to do so.

· Persistent compulsive behavior despite awareness of experiencing negative consequences from that behavior.

· Sexual compulsion or obsession is used as the main way you cope with life, feelings, and problems.

· Important social, family, career, or spiritual activities are neglected or given up because of sexual behavior

· Engaging in certain "ritualized" routines that are an important part of the sexual acting out.

· Need for increasing amount or intensity of sexual experience.

· Negative financial consequences because of the acting out.

· Negative relationship consequences because of the acting out.

· Loss of interest in sex with your partner or lack of interest in genuine intimacy with a long term partner

· Spending more time with sexual compulsivity than with intimate partners.

· Keeping secrets about your sexual behavior from significant others.

· Having regrets after acting out sexually.

· Frequenting places like sex clubs, strip clubs, adult book stores, massage parlors, cruising locations.

· Your sexual behavior is dangerous or the circumstances of your acting out could get you arrested.

If you are experiencing some of the above symptoms, you should be screened and/or assessed for sexual addiction. The addictions specialist making the assessment can provide an appropriate referral for treatment. The road to recovery begins with recognizing that you are out of control sexually and beginning to believe that the compulsive behavior can be stopped. To do that, you must take a realistic look at your behavior, the problems caused by that behavior, and becoming aware that your attempts to stop by yourself have not worked. If you see yourself in this description of sexual addiction, seek help now.

By Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.

Dr. Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT, Marriage/Family Therapist and Alcohol/Drug Counselor. Whether you are dealing with addiction issues, emotional or mental health issues, relationship issues, or need some additional living skills, my website is available to you. The "Links" page offers a wide range of resources for additional help. There is a "Recommended Readings" page and an "Ask Peggy" column. My site is a work in progress with additional features, articles, and resources being added to it on a regular basis. Check it out at http://www.peggyferguson.com

For more information about sexual addiction, read my articles, "Sexual Addiction: A Brief Description - Part 1", Sexual Addiction: Help for the Sex Addict - Part 3", Sexual Addiction: Are You Suffering From Someone Else's Sexual Addiction - Part 4", "Sexual Addiction: Help For the Sex Addict's Spouse - Part 5", here at EzineArticles.com.

Click here to ask Peggy a question about this topic or others or to subscribe to a newsletter that will alert you to additional informational and educational opportunities on this topic and others. *http://www.peggyferguson.com